Crackpod

Adults - what do they know?

2006-07-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

Interesting link.

http://www.nylearns.org/FileDownloader.aspx?FID=30844

(this video may take a minute to download - be patient)

Beach Blanket Italian

2006-07-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

So who's your take in the Wimbledon final - Fed vs. Nad? You're probably saing WTF? You talk about Tennis when the World Cup final is on the same day? It is a great time to be in Italy. I was there during the 1994 World Cup and witnessed first hand the insanity of an Italian soccer fan. I enjoyed watching the match on a gigantic screen set up on the beach. Eating pizza, drinking beer, and just hanging. It was all about Baggio at the time and just saying that guy's name made you an instant friend of anyone within earshot. The gelato wasn't bad either.

So France took the woman's final at Wimbledon. Not that she is really playing for the county, but Mauresmo did a great job of closing it out. Late in the third set, the match can be decided by just a point or two, which is why I never made it to the top - my weak mental fortitude on the court did not serve me well. Although in business, this is referred to as multitasking, which actually serves me very well, and is also the reason I never became an artist. Can you say Focus? Neither can I.

On Sunday, I will take Federer in 3 sets. That is my first instinct. The guy is playing extremely well and also has a serious Wimbledon record that speaks of continued victory. Nadal is also playing at the top of his game, but this is Federer's match to lose. He has a running grass court and wimbledon streak that just screams of record breaking potential, which is really what I like to see. It is fun to watch records being broken.

Sorry to all of you who have been pulled out of town this weekend and may not have access to a TV. Hopefully you are at least getting to enjoy some pizza and beer, if not the occasional Italian in a bathing suit...

30th post on the 30th

2006-06-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

huh, uhuh, uhuh, uhuh, shhh, deep breath.

running over to the blog, frantically trying to remmber the password. getting locked out for minutes at a time. let me in! let me in!. i need to get this entry in before time expires. It's all about the archive for June.

So what is it about wearing new Levi's anyway? They are a great deep blue color, however, in our society they seem to carry a stigma like - You're not cool enough to wear worn in Jeans. Dude, why do I have to wash my Jeans like 10 times to achieve the worn in look just so I can be cool. It just means I will lose out on 10 good washings and since I wear jeans like 10 times before washing, it would be like losing 100 wearing or like 3 full months of Levi's bliss. Ultimately what happens is that I get holes around the knees and since I am too old for my Zeppelin patch, I relegate them to the closet for in home or very casual wearings. Then one day, they are thrown in a plastic trash bag and off to good will they go. The person that will get them will be totally stoked to get that fully worn in pair of jeans, will have no problem putting a patch on it, and will probably wear it like 200 or more times before one washing, unless they live near a riverbed.

A body of intelligence

2006-05-31T18:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the desire to have something is stronger than the genuine need. In fact, this is the case most of the time. Following, the actuality of a situation is rarely as satisfying, in relation to the thought process that proceeded it.

Inside the mind, the commingling of chemicals that translate into sensory perceptions are like one big orgy. Realized one at a time, things appear quite lackluster. If you were watching one of those commercials right now, the part taking place inside the mind would be like a 120-piece ensemble marching band. The outside representation would be a one-man band.

So the question becomes, how does one externalize this orgy so that it feeds into our practical, minute-by-minute realities? (i.e. so that you are not having a one-man orgy).

Some say it is by slowing down the mind. Cessation of the waves of the mind. A stillness of sorts where every thought is a new thought, not predicated on what happened earlier or what may happen tonight, tomorrow, next week, or next year.

Others say it is by harnessing the intelligence of the body. Not treating our physical body like a trash can, rather, by giving it proper standing - on the level with organs such as the heart, lungs, and liver. The body is not idleness waiting for stimulus, rather the body freely transmits vast intelligence into the brain - from the fingertips to the toenails. Said another way, tend to the roots and the flowers will bloom. The root is in this case the body and the mind is in turn the flowers.

I tend to agree with both of them, and give credit to Maslow for providing the underpinning of my opinion. With Maslow, we were led to believe there is a hierarchy in place and once you attain level one, you are able to begin the work toward arriving at the next level.

I would argue that these levels are constantly fluctuating inside our minds and bodies. The need for food is necessary every few hours; the need for shelter is necessary each and every day. The need for belongingness and love presents itself each time we bump a toe or spill our coffee. Back & forth, up and down.

All that said, today I retreat to the body and work on penetrating these sheaths - skin, muscle, bone, blood and nerves, with my sights set on the heart. If today's journey doesn't provide the orgy, given the opportunity, I will look again the following day.

Aces high

2006-05-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

One commenter writes, and I paraphrase, "Are blogs replacing listserves?" To that comment I reply - not really (imho). On some listserves that have been around for several years, the members get tired of shooting the shit so they just chime in from time to time with pertinent news or a good joke.

Sometimes, individual members of the listserves start their own blogs and appear to be separatists, with the other members treating them as so - "Damn Miscreants!"

However, looking deeper, the individuals and their mob mentality have to question their own standing within the internet community. Are they equal contributors or are they feeding off the creativity of others?

Without going too too deep, I invite any individual listserve member to be a regular contributor to this blog to be able to 'call-out' anyone and anything they want. They could talk about such popluar topics as beauty tips, bling, Paris Hilton, Taylor Hicks or any other American Idol, or just simply talk about themseves.

Your deal - and don't give me no weak shuffle.

Blog vs. Vlog

2006-05-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

So today I spent some time checking out the various vlog's available. Not too many cause like TV, they tend to eat up lots of time, but enough to see that there are some interesting things going on.

One that I liked is:

http://www.rocketboom.com/vlog/

There are lots of others out there and I'm sure you can check them out on your own simply by typing 'vlog' or 'video blog' into google.

Lots of production going into some of these which has got to be quite time intensive. Like many online businesses, a few seem to be making some money, but most just doing it for fun.

Yoga in the Workplace

2006-05-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

I have actually been looking for an assistant - please contact me if you are still available.

Want more? Check out this link: http://www.possic.de/zlata1/julia.html

Alone in the blogosphere

2006-05-23T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I panicked. I thought for a little while that I was alone in the blogosphere. I called Dr. Blog, aka JBO and we had a good brainblogstorming session. While the goals are still not as clear as I wish they were, it has given me (us) renewed hope. One of our agreed upon goals is to get a comment from someone we don't know. (An actual reader would also be a good thing, but this didn't come up as a goal).

We discussed the idea of community, how if you want blog friends one must be proactive and provide stimulation (aka comments) to other bloggites. So I'll give this a try later today and report on my results. Of course, giving comments is a bit tricky in itself. Should I give comments to the Transsexual bog, the communist blog, the terr*r*s*t blog, and the porno blog - forsheezee, aren't there any normal blogs out there? Stay tuned, and while you're waiting visit that other blog http://skiletsrage.blogspot.com/.

...Sex, Blood, Tears.

2006-05-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

Spent a little too much time watching tv this weekend. Problem was I didn't watch enough during the week so I ended up DVR-ing some of the shows I like such as Law and Order and CSI (yes, all of them). On top of that we had the tribute to Mike Wallace on 60 minutes that was interesting to watch.

Hell of a career the guy has had meeting so many people. I personally would have liked 60 min to do a two hour tribute instead of one so that we could actually learn a little more about him and listen to more interviews. It came across as a bunch of soundbites. The Heads-up poker championship was fun as well. Even got me in the mood to play some Hold-em but since I had to teach C how to play first, there wasn't much competition at these tables.

Sad news of the weekend was all about Barbaro. (and Darfour - don't accuse me of not caring). Big things often happen at Pimlico and this one "silenced the crown of 118,000". What a terrible end to a career. It is strange how a broken leg can threaten a horses life, even when they have the best medical care.

"Horses are often euthanized after serious leg injuries because circulation problems and deadly disease can arise if they are unable to distribute weight on all fours."

Can you imagine if humans were more like horses, how much better off the human race might be?

Then again, Darwin probably woudn't have been as famous for his Natural Selection shtick as it would have been much more obvious.

Where in the world is Liquid

2006-05-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

I live in a pretty busy neighborhood, relatively speaking. No, it is not downtown Beijing or Mexico City, and it isn't (ain't) Salina, Kansas either. In my neighborhood, there are lots of restaurants and quite a few nail/hair salons. And one brothel, so I am told, but haven't had the cajones to walk in to this place that fronts as a restaurant.

By the way - those of you that were fond of the Jews for Jesus office a few blocks from here will be crushed to learn that they have shut their doors for good. Rumor has it, they are continuing their search using alternative methods than simple waiting for him in the office.

Likewise, the Peruvian restaurant that was pretty good has now morphed into another nationality.

You won't have a hard time finding Asian fare around here. We have a multitude of Chinese, Japanese, Thai, a couple Korean and an Indian. Italian and Mexican is not an issue. Up to this point, there has been one thing missing which I am ecstatic to proclaim - "Is no longer the case!"

I now see a boarded up place 1 block away that has a new marquee and it is for a Mediterranean restaurant. This happens to be a favorite cuisine of mine. Peeking in, I noticed they had just completed a new tile floor and are working on the inside paint job.

Mediterranean madness here we come.

What Dreams Are Made Of

2006-05-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been checking out Kevin Sites. He seems to be a low key dude that has now hit the big time - Once a lonely blog like the Crackpod, he was optioned by Yahoo and his blog is now the Hot Zone!

Check out his blog and video at:

http://hotzone.yahoo.com/

His bio is here:
http://www.kevinsites.net/bio.php

i could really go for a double-double

2006-05-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Haven't you always heard not to cross double yellow lines when driving. They tell us it's a safety hazard, but why do people continue to break the lines?

Maybe folks just aren't sure what constitutes the difference betweena single and a double. So let's just put that out there.

So a single yellow line is the following:

A double yellow line looks like the photo below:

I mean just maybe the confusion started with the advent of the In-n-Out Burger. They have a simple menu, just a couple burgers and assorted items. The single burger is just called Hamburger (or Cheeseburger for you smartasses). Then their double patty burger is called the Double-Double. To me it would have made a little more sense just to call it a Double, as it is called at 99.9% of hamburger joints nationwide. But no dice there and the confusion began.

SO now people think that they can cross a single AND can cross a double yellow line cause they feel that unless the lines look like the photo below, (aka a 20x20), they are free to turn.

In case you are really wondering, this is a confusing law in the vehicle code which is why we have so many people doing erratic things while blocking traffic and endangering pedestrians.

So without further ado, here is a cut/paste from the drivers handbook:

TRAFFIC LANES

Line Colors

Solid yellow lines mark the center of a road used for two way traffic.
Broken yellow lines mean you may pass if the broken line is next to your driving lane.
Two solid yellow lines mean “no passing.” Never drive to the left of these lines unless you are:

Turning left at an intersection.
Turning into or out of a private road or driveway.
In a carpool lane that has a designated entrance on the left.
Instructed to drive on the other side of the road because your side is closed or blocked.

Hmm, maybe it wasn't all that confusing.

Succeeding in the cut throat world of blogs

2006-05-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention through completely, ahem, legal means that my blog is not penetrating the blogosphere. True I am not marketing it like a champion, however, still, wouldn't it be nice if people would read what I had to say, even if it was boring and even if the sentences never seemed to end, really, wouldn't that be the coolest, if not downright groovy.

So working toward this goal, I am compiling a few tips to assist you and me in this dog eat dog world of blogging.

Mention famous people like Bill O' Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern, and other media folks. Mentioning liberal political media like Arianna Huffington, Al Franken, Rhandi Rhodes, or Big "Ed" Shultz may not get you as far.

There is a company called "Working Assets" that seems to be plucking the best of the best of the blogging world and offering book contracts to expand on all this infinite wisdom.

In response to one recent book offered bloauthor, John Amato of crooksandliars.com stated, "He stood out because he made astute, accurate comments based on factual arguments". Sheet, is that all it takes? It is a wonder that this blog or the other best blog in the world, Clipstone St. hasn't been picked up yet. Here is my proposal, put JBO ad myself in a room and just hit the Record button - in about 4 hours and a bottle of Armagnac, you will have enough for a book, and radio program, and if the bottle is a magnum, a feature length movie.

Overheard...

2006-05-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

So in the coffee shop this morning a guy asked for a bagel an the following conversation took place:

"Do you have any Everything bagels?"
"Sure, we gots everything minus garlic, onions, poppy and sesame seeds"
"That sounds like a plain bagel"
"Then you don't know your bagels"
"Just give me a f'n bagel, toasted with butter"
"Whatever, man"

It's a deal, inspector.

2006-05-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

Let me tell YOU that blogging ain't easy. I mean in reality, I'm blogging all day long - thinking about things, pondering ideas, mentally bagging on folks or trying to learn from the mistakes of others. Sometimes even trying to learn from their successes. Lot's of times I am eying broads in a voyeuristic/magazine sort of way. Just sort of checking things out cause I like things of beauty.

The past few days I've been putting together play lists for my upcoming wedding. I have decided to get married in a small town where resources are limited. One of the things that I haven't been able to figure out is the DJ scene. I called about 5 guys and got one return call for a dude who said he'd send me a demo reel, but he never did. I called each of these 5 guys twice. SO I said screw it, I'll just rent some equipment and make my own playlists. Lo and behold there is one guy in town that rents equipment and he is booked with the motocross that will be in town. He did tell me that if I was willing to pay enough, he would hire and train a guy to do the event. I had to laugh at the cost for that.

So...What the hell, I decide I'll go ahead and buy my own system and run my own f'n show. I did my research and went to eBay and had a blast After my one time usage, my goal is to eventually rent out this system so I can recoup my expenses. Can you say business expense. SO if any of you need a 250 watt PA system, let me know. I'll have one available after June. I give you good price.

Right now, after spending a bunch of time sorting through my MP3's, I have about put together about 8 hours of music of which I hope to segment into the events of the day. (pre wedding, dinner, reception, etc.) Hopefully I can pull it off. If you have any song suggestions - speak up or forever hold your peace!

In getting the music together, I found that in so many of these songs, memories were hidden. For huge memories down to the smallest things. Music is pretty amazing when it gets down to it. Looking back, I have truly enjoyed so many experiences that are now completely knotted to the music - and I don't even consider myself a huge fan of music either so this kind of happened on its own. (yes, of course I enjoy music, but I am not one of those guys that always needs to have music on, or loves to frequent music shops, watch video channels, etc.)

In any case, I am going to play some of this memorable music on the bog day - I wonder if anyone will silently think to themselves - damn, liquid chose this song for me.

The sound of silence

2006-05-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

Watching David Blaine last night was exciting. I am always impressed by those that push the envelope. Taking the human condition and upping the ante, one breath at a time. As a magician, he is among the best. As a stunt man, he is quite possibly insane. He does stunts that push the human mind and body as far as they will go. I am certainly looking forward to his next stunt and perhaps I will go see him one day if I get the opportunity.

Check this out!

Random - did you check him out while he hung out in the fishbowl all week?

What the crack?

2006-05-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

CNN REPORT: Binge drinking becoming an epidemic on college campuses.

Personally I always felt like the epidemic on college campuses was watching woman freshman come in nice and skinny and seeing them in their junior year with what appeared to be cottage cheese on their thighs. Only later did I learn what that was all about. Yes, you know it too - they couldn't find a good man, so they chose to fill their oral cavities with ben and jerry's and pizza, beer, candy, etc. Wait a second, that's what I was doing too. (CLARIFICATION: For lack of a good woman that would put up with all my crap). Holy Jesus, I just can't win can I. These circular arguments can really drive one to drink.

Heard this on CNN today as I was running on the treadmill. I know I should be running outside, especially on such a gorgeous day, but alas, I opted for the mindless run while watching TV. It is still good for the cardiovascular system, right?

I remember back in my day, I was going to school 2 hours north of another college campus where I had a friend living. One afternoon, I learned a friend of mine was going to be driving down to visit his girlfriend for the evening at this campus. I hitched a ride so i could party with my buddy.

Arriving in his dorm room, we proceeded to take 2 oz straight shots of Vodka with a water chaser. (Overheard: Is there any food around? Answer, No. Is there any fruit juice or something? No!) Needless to say, a couple hours later I was completely shitfaced. I sort of passed out on the dorm room floor only to wake up and stumble to the hallway shared restrooms. I forgot to kneel beside the toilet so I puked all over the bathroom stall. Of course, being too drunk to clean it up, I just mosied back to the room where I was staying. When I returned to the room, my friend had made a cardboard puke box for me. Throughout the rest of the night, I puked and puked, scaring the shit out of his very Christian and religious (and eternally sober) roommate.

It was only later I learned that the entire floor of the dormitory had been asked to pay the cleaning fee for the mess I made. In fact, it was only later that I was told about most of this story.

So yes, binge drinking is a problem, but I ask - how else are you going to find your true limits? In fact, doesn't this analogy apply for most things...? How do you really push yourself in life - Answer: By trial and error. I learned my lessons the hard way and only two other times during my college career did I get so fucked up.

The last one, also in the dorms, I remember had to do with 151 and crawling with all my might toward the bathroom to puke, only waking up in the hallway at the foot of the bathroom door sometime in the middle of the night. That too was a pretty weird experience. By the time I was a sophomore, I learned to drink a little slower.

Say it ain't all that and more

2006-05-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

Is this what I have to look forward to?

"Magath, an avid drinker of green tea, had not had any alcohol at all in the last six months, according to Bayern commercial manager Uli Hoeness. He told German television Magath had three glasses of champagne and beer on the bus to Cologne. "

Do we really have a chance?

2006-05-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

60 Million Bloggers in China!
"Darkness at the break of noon / Shadows even the silver spoon / The handmade blade, the child's balloon / Eclipses both the sun and moon / To understand you know too soon / There is no sense in trying." - Dylan

As a former student of la science politique, I can safely say that the idealism of my youth has faded inversely proportional to my ass hair.

The idea that we can change the world is really only true if we are actually in a powerful position. And usually you can get in a powerful position only by being born into it or by playing the game and paying some 'big-time" dues. Sure there are folks that will say, "That's not true at all, look at Cindy Sheehan, or Julia 'Butterfly' Hill. See all the change they have made!"

To that I reply that this is a classic gambler's fallacy. Let's admit to ourselves that there are no absolutes in this world and in every example of human psychology or sociology, there will be answers on all 3 sides of the coin. With that said, how many individuals can you name that have changed anything of significance? I am speaking of people like me and you and not folks that were born into powerful families or have paid their dues by doing years of hard labor to their bosses and sacrificed their souls in the process to get where they are. Can you say Karl Rove? - One smart bastard on a human emotion (read: manipulation) scale, but not exactly a guy you would want to call your friend...

So about us - what can we do short of suffering a great loss and then deciding we have found our purpose in life (ala Cindy Sheehan with her son, or Julia Hill with the loss of the virgin redwoods) - or maybe that really is the only way to do it. We have to care so much about something that our life is then guided by a sense of purpose - for better or for worse. Otherwise, we are just living the routine, chasing the cheese, and dumbing down in the evening to our drug of choice.

But maybe there IS another (3rd side) option. With that, I will leave the blogosphere with a selection from J.K.
-------

. . . it is important to understand, not intellectually but actually in your daily life, how you have built images about your wife, your husband, your neighbor, your child, your country, your leaders, your politicians, your gods--you have nothing but images.
The images create the space between you and what you observe and in that space there is conflict, so what we are going to find out now together is whether it is possible to be free of the space we create, not only outside ourselves but in ourselves, the space which divides people in all their relationships.
Now the very attention you give to a problem is the energy that solves that problem. When you give your complete attention--I mean with everything in you--there is no observer at all. There is only the state of attention which is total energy, and that total energy is the highest form of intelligence.

Naturally that state of mind must be completely silent and that silence, that stillness, comes when there is total attention, not disciplined stillness. That total silence in which there is neither the observer nor the thing observed is the highest form of a religious mind. But what takes place in that state cannot be put into words because what is said in words is not the fact. To find out for yourself you have to go through it.
-- J. Krishnamurti, Freedom from the Known

Run for the hills

2006-05-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

So what is there to possibly blog about at 8:30am? The latest headlines from the Drudge Report? Latest entry from the the Daily Kos? or my favorite blog, currently known as Clipstone St. ?

Now that I've been blogging for a couple weeks, I can see why a majority of blogs turn into rants against everything. After all, how easy is it to complain about something that is going on in your life? Shit, I could have already complained about 5-10 things in the hour or so I've been awake. On the other hard, how easy it is to speak positively about the last hour....arguably harder.

Good things about the last hour:

Had some Tea.
Started a blog entry.

Bad things about the last hour:

shoulder hurts
a little tired
need a shower
hungry
forgot to charge my phone

As you can see, the minus list is virutally endless and writes itself whereas the good things list is actually a struggle to get through. So what am I doing - complaining about how easy it is to complain? Well, now that it is Spring, on the verge of Summer, my resolution is to shed some fat. The kind of fat that just stinks of negativity.

Goal for today - not to talk about anyone that isn't in front of me or whom I am speaking with on the telephone. After all, how easy is it to not only complain about one's own plight, but project your 'stuff' onto others around you. Have you ever talked shit about someone? Oh I hear you now - "I never do that". Dude, I mean. come on. Seriously.

If you're still calling DENIAL on my last statement, the prognosis may be worse than I imagined.

Schadenfreude!

Assault!

2006-05-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

"The heat is on, on the street
Inside your head, on every beat
And the beat's so loud, deep inside
The pressure's high, just to stay alive
'Cause the heat is on"
Glenn Frey, The Heat is On

It was bound to happen - the Crackpod has been assaulted. The cuplrit is the notoriously witty blog, currently known as Clipstone St. I think the proprietor of this site feels a bit slighted by my heavy doses of Coffee Talk. After all, I claim to be a tea not coffee drinker and yet coffee seems to find its way into most of my posts.

Is this sort of like Tim Watley on Seinfeld making Jewish jokes even though he is a converted jew. "The guy's Jewish two days, he's already making Jewish jokes." Those goddam Anti-Dentites.

But hey, JBO knows I am a closet, or not so closet competitor so I invite his verbal duel as an avid fan of the great Cyrano.

"A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous, and liberal man. "

In deeper analyis, I can see that most of my readers are actually looking for crack, and hence i get an abnormally large number of hits. If you are one of them, leave me a comment so i know who you are.

Werd.

What makes me angry...

2006-05-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

Given, after a few cups of coffee I am more likely to be angry than after a couple cups of tea. My hypothesis is that when I am amped on coffee, I expect the rest of the world to be amped up as well. When i come across folks that not only seem like they haven't had a dose of coffee, but seem as though they have smoked a few joints, my blood begins to boil when i am trying to get stuff done.

"DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!"

Now the reality is that these folks haven't had anyhting to smoke at all, and I don't even think it is fair to pick on pot smokers (after all, some of my best friends are pot smokers ;-). No it is just that everyone moves at their own pace and no matter what kind of carrots you hold out in front of them, they won't budge. Sure they'll get to the carrot and enjoy it, but they still won't turn toward the direction you are looking in. (until something is in it for them). Yes, the cat is out of the bag - what's in it for me!!!

That is the vrai secret. (why the fuck do i keep using french words in my postings?) When working with folks, how do you determine their self interest. Sure it is easy when all they are after is money, but delving deeper, it is rarely ONLY about the money even when it appears that way at first.

I have been taught that everyone is after three things. They want to make money/save money, improve their image in the eyes of others (friends, boss, etc.), or to save time so they can putz around a bit more. Taking those three things in account, why would you possibly be reading this blog? Using the Hulk model, It is probably not going to earn you any money, certainly not going to improve your image, and seeminly is doing the opposite of saving you time. Clearly in this case, there was something else that brought you to this blog so you COULD spend a little time putzing around. The blog in this case is the END. The MEANS could have perhaps been the fact that you completed or are putting off your actual responsibiliites. (gym, food, wife time, work, etc.)

So back to the story... Think about something you did today that you were proud of? In reflection, what was your motivation? You may say, well, i do things cause I really like people and I just want the world to be a happier place. Do you buy that? I wish I did. This seems to be the good 'ol altruism argument all over again and I left that one behind back in Philosophy 101. Right along with vegetarianism, and victimless crimes. Isn't that right AR?

Today, I was mostly pissed off as I mentioned. Too many cups of coffee has sent me into a mental mania where I am most comfortable alone, completing my finite projects and poorly attempting to slow down as I watch the sun lower itself.

I am going to the gym in a few minutes and hope to get through the rest of this aggro behavior. I will drink lots of water and take to deep breathing. By nightfall, I plan on being relaxed. I'll let you know how I do.

The Ultimate Entrepreneur

2006-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
The Beatles, Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

You know how it is when you go to the same coffee or sandwich shop and you see the same folks working there week after week and sometimes year after year. Then one day, Poof! They are gone and you have to start all over building that rapport. Sometimes you feel, screw it, all that effort, and i just don't feel like starting over, but ultimately you probably do...I mean, what are you going to do, have a sour puss everytime you walk in.

Its gets a bit stranger when you have a rapport with the folks and then one day you walk in and they pretend like they never knew you. Or you may even get the feeling that you are bothering them by just trying to be friendly. It is as if they had amnesia and sort of forgot they knew you or at least forgot your entire history together.

Now, when this happens to one of your long time friends, dare I say, it is stranger than fiction?!?!. I have known this one guy for like 20 years, we live in the same city, and slowly but surely he is disappearing from mine and all of his other friends lives. One day, he is social as hell and the next he simply stops returning phone calls and emails. When prodded, he claims there is nothing wrong and that he is just really focused on a work project. This work project has now been going on for over 2 years. The guy works for himself - all day every day. When he does take a break, it is typcially for very short time periods before he has a reason to get back to things.

I wonder aloud if this guy will ever get back in touch with his friends or if this work project will go on for decades to come giving him rationale to distance himself from his friends and the world around him. What do you think? Depression, Anxiety, Obsession? Positive, Negative, Neutral? Hates his friends? Completely normal state of affiars?

Yes, the river knows...

2006-04-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

"I used to ask questions, and I got the answer: nothing. The answer is
'nothing."
-Joan Didion, Play it as it Lays

Sometimes I feel as though time is fluid. The days actively progress in what seems the way the are supposed to. Other times, I become quite introspective and find myself analyzing things quite a bit. I seem to go between these two states every couple weeks as if there is some pattern to it that i cannot quite discern. Another way of describing these states is "Heavy" and "Light" as Kundera often does. We are always striving to be light, to shed all worldly realtionships and possessions, to be free as a bird. Inevitably when lightness comes our way, we immediately start accumulating things (realtionships, real estate, etc.) and get heavy - typically until we get so heavy that we are burdened by our perceived responsibilities. So heavy that we cry out for a Coup de Grace!

Who doesn't enjoy the idea of jumping on a plane and traveling to a remote part of the world - where no one knows your name, where your self has no past, your identity invalidated. In modern verncular, this is sometimes referred to as a 'fresh start'. Another chance to make your way in a difficult yet exhilirating world of possibilities. Joan Didion has written some about this. Her take is that you don't have to jump on that plane, your life, your love, and your entire past will fade to black right before your eyes and years before you expect it. Play it as it Lays was an interesting book.

In our own way, we perfrom the ritual of moving from place to place regularly, even if we decide not to admit this to ourselves. How many people do you know that have lived in the same city for more than 10 years? Yes, its true, people get bored with existence. Seemingly searching for another place that will bring them smack dab to the elusive State of Happiness.

It really is a tough challenge to find yourself in a place that you don't want to depart from. Where la vie quotidienne is as enjoyable as that chocolate cake, orgasmic sex, and the climb to the peak of a snowcapped mountain. How do I (we) get to this place and stay there?

I refuse to believe this place only exists in drugs and dreams.

Come Clean...

2006-04-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

"Do you take me for such a fool
To think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don't know to begin with"
- Bob Dylan, Positively 4th Street

I wonder if the guy that told me that has come clean by now.

There i was, one week into my first “company” job in 1996. I had my suit on and set out for my 1/2 mile walk to the BART station. Rockridge to Embarcadero station. Daydreams of working in a high rise and feeling really good about the future. And then, just a block before the BART station I am drawn to my right. Here is some dude crouched on the ground asking me for some spare change. I continue walking past him, not moved by his request, and then from the rear I hear the dude exclaim, “c’moooon, come clean”. And I haven’t forgot those words since.

Perhaps because those words symbolized such a profundity. The words did get me to glance back at him one last time and I was able to form a mental image of him at that point. Truth be told, he actually looked like that dude that was made popular on David Letterman around this time, Manny the Hippy.

I did sort of feel out of place in a suit. Just a few weeks before I had been wearing shorts on a daily basis and regularly visiting the clothing optional pool at Strawberry Canyon, on the UC Berkeley Campus. Once I learned I got the new job, I visited Men’s Wearhouse and picked up 2 suits, 2 pair of shoes, and a few extra shirts and ties. (we are all familiar with the mix/match delusion). Up until this job, I had only worn suits for those special occasions such as temple activites, weddings and funerals. So yes, I can safely say, I didn’t feel quite myself in the suit. In fact, while wearing it, I sort of felt like I couldn’t believe I had crossed over to the other side. Corporate Weasdom! I was mentally conflicted, sort of felt like I couldn’t act in the office the way that I was used to acting amongst my friends. My self confidence was relatively low as I was trying to learn how to fit in and succeed in this new role. There was a huge learning curve and while stressful, I was determined to figure out the game.

So when I heard that I should, “come clean”, it was certainly something that resonated with me. I wanted to rip that suit off right there, lean toward him and proclaim, “yes, you’re right - i need to figure out a way to stop this charade!” But reality set in. Here was a guy begging for money and if that’s what coming clean meant, I preferred to stay dirty. In my own way, I had tried to come clean during the previous four years after graduating from college. During that time, I had some great experiences, but alas, ended up living out of my car and going from dead end contract job to the next.

After peering back at this dude and looking into his eyes, I knew he was partly right. However, it was painfully obvious that being right in a theoretical sense didn’t mean shit in the world of practicality.

I didn’t give him a dime, and never saw him again.

What the !!??!?!

2006-04-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

These are exciting times at the Crackpod. Today we ported over (READ: cut/paste) all the old stuff from Wordpress into the Blogger tool. Wordpress was just too much of a headache for me. I had trouble with the html formatting and inserting photos correctly. In sum, I spent too much time on the technicalities of the product instead of on the blogging part. So I moved over to Blogger as it seemed to have a friendlier interface to work from. The downside in all this was that we lost all our readers comments. I know I will be getting hundreds of complaints about my expressED opinion. But hey, it's my blog, so READ and WEEP.
Living in the city, exposure to wildlife is somewhat limited. As I used to work next to a balcony, I enjoyed putting out some seed and watching the birds come and go. At times, the seed was all gone and the birds would try to intimidate me as the photo of the Blue Jay shows above. He would eventually get what he wanted and move on to the tree across the street where at times he appeared to be feeding his young with the mash. Over the years, I saw lots of cool birds that would just sort of hang out on the balcony, sunning themselves when the opportunity presented, and always feeding.

One day at a time.

2006-04-21T00:03:00.000-07:00

One more cup of coffee for the road,
One more cup of coffee 'fore i go
To the valley below.

- Bob Dylan, One more Cup of Coffee

Sometimes I find myself, right smack in the middle of the day thinking, "this would make a great blog entry". Of course, it is hours later that i have time to enter the kind words into the blog and by then, it is like waking up from a dream. Forgotten but not lost.

I wonder aloud, "How is JBO doing with his caffeine addictions?" I went through a 3 week everyday coffee habit that finally ended after it wore me down. After not drinking a cup of coffee for about 3 years, I broke down while in Utah two months ago. He we are in a 'kind' house in Park City during the ski season. Is there any better way to start a cold morning in the mountains than with a cup of strong joe? of course not. So, bowing to my inner sense of ritual, I partook in coffee that morning and every morning while I was there. Upon returning home, I was back on my green tea habit (mostly dragonwell, for those still reading). About a week later I came down with a cold. Lacking energy and feeling down, I went back to the well and started buying small drip cofeee's from the corner cafe. Then it was medium, and not very long before it was LARGE. A few weeks later, I was drained.

Coffee is a rollercoaster that I can not stay on for very long. I love the taste of a good cappuccino and even a good drip, but after a few days, the coffee just isn't as tasty anymore but I continue to drink it. again out of ritual, and the need for speed. But the reality is that is sends me up and then down just as hard. It is difficult me to handle those ups and downs. So after all this, I bought 2 ounces of Dragonwell last week and am back to boiling a pot of water and steeping the tea in the pot each morning. I like to think that I can get a cup of coffee and enjoy it for all its worth without feeling like i 'need' another cup. The addiction thing is tough. Especially after being a coffee drinker for 15+ years. Next time I am in LA, I will have a cup of coffee with JBO, if only because he said he'd buy me a cup. Free stuff is also hard to turn down, even if there is no desire for it.

Now I am off to the gym, this perhaps is something I would like to make more of an addiction. For now, I'm taking it day by day.

f’n blog

2006-04-18T04:51:00.000-07:00

I can be a little anal sometimes. In the 300 or so word blog i posted a minute ago, I noticed a couple spellng errors. I went to correct them and there was some error going on. So I copied that blog and deleted the old one. lo and behold, the only thing that ended up being copied was the title of the blog sans the blog itself. i am pretty pissed but in the scheme of things i think i'll live (i just hope my readers will). Next time I will remember to run these bugs through my Quality control team. damn.

the dentist, JBO, and marshmallow treats

2006-04-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I was back at the dentist today. Four cavities filled. Three more next week. After that it is a 2-part deep cleaning known as scaling and root planing. What is it? Alan had to do this and a lot more after he went without seeing a dentist for over 10 years. Bad idea jeans. Apparently even he is in good shape now which proves that the dentist and the dental hygienist can in fact perform miracles. Tough job. I saw on CNN that dentists get the least amount of vactions by profession. When I told that to the office staff they just laughed and said they work 4-day weeks, every week. This office must be doing well. They do seem to be in very good spirits which is kind of weird for a dentists office. However, I suppose this is one reason why I would highly recommend these guys. If you live in SF and are looking for a dentist, drop me a line and I'll let you in on this party.

On another note, my friend JBO has made a profound statement. He referred to me as "that champion of balance and harmony, my mentor in living a better life, the one who brought me from the dark side and allowed me a glimpse". I think he is a bit tongue and cheek and trying to scapegoat his low disciplinary abilities. But that's okay since we all have that similar good vs. evil thing going on. Remember the Flintstones? The angel and devil that hovered over Fred's shoulders (get the costume) It doesn't take much for me to go coocoo over Peeps. Practically everyone who knows me has seen me put down a 15 pack of pink or yellow peeps in under 3 minutes. (2 packs if they were lucky). But that's alright. I was raised on candy and soda. [Aside: JBO and I subsisted on the lunchtime coke-candy combo. It was only a buck in our day 60 cents for the coke and 40 cents for the candy), but now it is probably more like a buck eighty.] I used to literally leave the dentists office as a kid and my mom would let us kids stop off and pick up candy from the corner store. My favorite used to be Rocky Road, that chocolate and marshmallow treat. Did you know it is made in San Francicso Bay Area?

Nowadays, I try to have discipline, but sort of realize that concept is fruitless. Your true nature will ALWAYS rise back to the surface after a tablespoon or two of time. The only way to change a habit for a lifetime is to alter your nature which as you can imagine is no easy feat.

A rainy day and the dentist

2006-04-12T16:12:00.000-07:00

Rain in the forecast for the next couple weeks. Thought I would try to build some momentum seeing as how this is a new blog and all. Went to the dentist today after a 3+ year hiatus. He is pretty up on technology and even has a 17" LCD on the wall so patients can watch tv and dvd's.

Feels good to finally get back in there as I could tell there was some definite buildup (aka plaque & gingivitis) happening. My suspicions were confirmed when his assistant took the tv remote from me and switched over to the "chair-cam." There it was, the inside of my mouth up close & personal, magnified, and in what seemed like high definition. Pretty ugly if you ask me. It was a good move on his part. After seeing all that crap on my teeth, I signed up for all the services he was offering me. I remember in the old days, they would just show you a brochure of someone's ugly mouth, letting you know that this would happen to you if you didn't brush and visit a dentist regularly. Well, the time has come, age has taken its toll, and that brochure has not only hit close to home - it is chez moi.

Now go make that appointment with your oral provider.

Ahhh, the Racing Green. Glorious.

2006-04-11T18:10:00.000-07:00

I just set up this blog a few minutes ago and rather than wait a couple days, weeks, or months finely crafting the perfect word, phrase, sentence, and/or novella, I thought I would just post - already realizing that in the process of creating this blog, success has been had. My hope is that JV soon follows suit. Remember that trifecta, JV? Hoach, remember that dude telling us to bet on his horse.....?

In any case, sometimes it is better to just get a jump on things rather than think too much and never end up getting to or past the starting gate. Check it out to see what I mean. By the time you're done reading, I should have my next post ready...

And they're offfff!